Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
