I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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