he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
