i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
