i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
