why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
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As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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