One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
