Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
