Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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