so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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