Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize