sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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