We're facebook friends in real life
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
