We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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