This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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