Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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