I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize