I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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