Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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