he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
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Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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