I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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