I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
