the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
