Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just pee around me
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
