ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
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It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
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TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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