well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
