It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You're like the curious george of whores
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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