im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
