During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
