I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
