She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize