if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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