So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
