It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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