can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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