I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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