please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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