so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
