oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
