All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
