I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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