I puked a lego.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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