she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I've blown a few things in my day
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
