making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have aggressive nipples.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
