I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
