Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
