Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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