there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
