I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
