Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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