I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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