Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
