I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
