He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
