She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Randomize
