how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
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I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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